QOTD

"Yeah, I learned all the things I wanted to learn... you know, about the email, and the Craigslist, and the Wahoo." - Grandpa Nickles

Weekend.

Took it off Facebook, added it here.

I wrote this after I got back from a mini Joshua reunion in December 2005.


Only five hours ago I was still at Hume... still on the mountain... still in the middle of the vastness of God's beautiful and glorious creation. There were friends... my Joshua family... filling me with laughter, joy, tears... wrapped in my arms... forever in my heart. There was a wedding... a declaration of love to God, to one other, to family and friends... a promise. There were infinite amounts of memories... of "remember whens"... of good stories, embarrassing moments, and reality past, present, and future. There was a finished video... a year of friendship, love, growth, pain, laughter, tears, hugs, smiles, memories... documented, dedicated, and shared. But mostly, there was time... time: to spend sitting and talking... being content... being close to actually touching a tangible piece of satisfaction. I am still so consumed with emotion... the purest joy of being reunited with souls forever connected through our Savior... the sharpest pain of realizing we have no assurance of seeing each other again on this earth... and the love that runs deeper than all else, that is beyond all measure... and the knowledge that we will always have heaven. this is what we cling to... what we press on for. But for now, Hume is our heaven on earth. It is where we go to find ourselves... each other... love. And this is where I have left my heart, in so many ways.

Can't Stop Smiling!

It's such a fantastic feeling, having something to be excited about again! Not that there aren't small things that I can be excited about on a daily basis, like a breakthrough in a session with one of my little clients... or fun conversations with my roommates because we're girls and we love to giggle... or Jesus and the ways I've seen him working in my life the last few months. But, this is a new excitement... something that I haven't had in awhile now. And I can't stop smiling about it. It's glorious.

Good vs. Evil

I insist on believing that some good can be found in every individual, despite the fact that the bible says that everyone is born sinful. I do not believe the bible is wrong, but I do believe that change can be made. Hello, social work. You're taking over my life.

What a night!

Have you ever experienced something so completely unexpected that it takes a significant amount of time for it to even sink in? Yeah. Me too. Crazy, unbelievable, shocking, and SO fantastic. Hm. This'll be interesting...

Lavendar, Elvis, and Lots of Wine

Well, had the big 60th Anniversary/90th Birthday Party Celebration this weekend for my grandparents, and WHAT a party it was! Tons of relatives that hadn't gotten together since the last reunion ten years ago. Lots of old people that I had never seen before. Decorations, and ornaments, and diamonds, and lavendar, and candles. An Elvis impersonator who is a long-time friend of the family and made not just the women, but the men blush too. Months of preparation and an entire day of decorating. Fun dressing up fancy-like and feeling pretty for an evening. Cosmic bowling afterward with the cousins. Was a blast!

Sigh.

I haven't forgotten that I have a blog.
I'm just busy.
Not in the way I'd like to be busy.
I'm busy writing papers, and going to class, and reading an insanely large number of pages in textbooks, and doing an internship which is basically working part-time without getting paid for it.
I knew it would be like this.
I'm not complaining.
I've actually nearly completed 25% of the two years it will take to get my MSW.
That's kind of exciting.
I've recently become re-obsessed with Ireland.
Thus, I've decided I should travel there once I've graduated.
I feel like after the number of graduations I will have had at that point, I might deserve it.
Or need it, rather.
Unless I have a job at that point.
That could be tricky.
Often I think about writing here, but I decide that it will take too long or that I don't want to get too emotional or invest too much thought into trying to explain something that probably only makes sense to me.
So, I just don't.
I love reading about everyone else.
They always have much more interesting things to say, or artistic inspirations to share.
Sometimes I wonder if there's anything interesting about me.
I mean, I know there is.
I think.
I mean, there is, and I know it's silly to wonder about it.
But sometimes I feel like most everyone else is more interesting than I am.
Maybe they are.
Or at least, in different ways.
Sometimes I still feel like I'm waiting to become who I am.
According to psychology studies, you don't really know who you are until you're 27.
I have four months.
Or, a year and four months.
Maybe I get to figure it out while I'm 27.
That makes me feel a little better to think about it that way.
Well.
I guess I should get back to that paper I'm writing.
One of the ones that usually keeps me from updating this silly blog.
Or, I could go to Ireland.
That sounds better.